Self-love #29

"Don’t Take Anything Personally. Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.” - Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements.

Self-love and assertiveness. What do they mean?

Self-love is the overall opinion of ourselves and how we feel about our abilities and limitations. Self-love comes from within, us thoughts and sense of self.

Lack of self-love can lead to dismissing our own opinions. It can also lead feelings of not good enough or that our ideas are not important. This can be crippling when our voice and opinions are is needed.

To be assertive means to stand up for our ideas, rights, or opinions, and feelings in a calm and positive way. To be assertive is crucial when communicating and can be a game changer for personal improvement.

By surrounding ourselves with positive individuals who provide you with good feedback, you will be more likely to feel valued and worthwhile. Negative individuals can disrupt our ability to be social and may lead to feelings of hostility or create sensitivity to criticism. The people we surround yourself with are important. They are our support system.

Healthy self-love empowers us to ask for our needs, voice our opinions, have confidence in our decision making and become resilient to changes, stress and setbacks. Most importantly, Self-love can help us accomplish our goals and increase our positive actions in life. It’s also good to remember that once we make the decision to assert ourselves, we can do so without being passive or aggressive.

• Our inner voice is more powerful than we realize. We can make an active effort to be kind to ourselves. We need to remember that no one is perfect so don’t beat yourself up over little mistakes.

• Do what makes you happy. Schedule in some time every day to do the things you enjoy.

• Celebrate achievements. You worked hard. You can check that off the to-do list, so that’s worth raising your arms in victory and celebrate.

• What can you change? Take control of what you can, focus your energy on what you can achieve.

• Aim for honest, open and authentic communication. Respect others’ opinions when sharing your own thoughts, wants, feelings or beliefs.

• Learning how to increase self-love can nurture your sense of self. Having a solid support system will benefit the quality of your life and help you achieve your goals.

Communicating love to self

Once you can assertively communicate to yourself, then you will be able to communicate who you are to others. Many of us hold in our hurt and just keep walking through life thinking we are good.

Self-respect is correlated with assertiveness, and self-respect is a strong factor that remains related to assertiveness. Self-confidence plays an important role in our everyday lives. Being confident allows us to set and reach our goals. It provides stability when we are faced with a challenge; it gives us that push that helps us overcome difficulties. Self-confidence is necessary in our personal and professional lives, as without it one would not be successful in either. It gives us the ability to stand up to face our challenges and to pick ourselves up when we fall.

An assertive person is confident and direct in dealing with others. Assertive communications promote fairness and equality in human interactions, based on a positive sense of respect for self and others. It is the direct communication of a person’s needs, wants, and opinions without punishing, threatening, or putting down another person. Assertive behavior includes the ability to stand up for a person’s legitimate rights – without violating the rights of others or being overly fearful in the process. assertive behavior is situational specific; meaning different types of assertive behavior can be used in different situations. Assertive behavior involves three categories of skills; self-affirmation, expressing positive feelings, and expressing negative feelings.

Self-confidence is a belief in oneself, one's abilities, or one's judgment. It is freedom from doubt. When you believe you can change things -- or make a difference in a situation, you are much more likely to succeed. As a self-confident person, you walk with a bounce in your step. You can control your thoughts and emotions and influence others. You are more prepared to tackle everyday challenges and recover from setbacks. This all leads to a greater degree of optimism and life satisfaction.

An assertive individual communicates in a way that clearly states his or her opinions and feelings, and firmly advocates for his or her rights and needs without violating the rights of others. Assertive communication is born of high self-esteem. Assertive people value themselves, their time, and their emotional, spiritual, and physical needs.

They are strong advocates for themselves -- while being very respectful of the rights of others.

Assertive people feel connected to other people.

They make statements of needs and feelings clearly, appropriately, and respectfully. Feeling in control of themselves, they speak in calm and clear tones, are good listeners, and maintain good eye contact.

They create a respectful environment for others, and do not allow others to abuse or manipulate them.

The assertive person uses statements that imply:

• “I am confident about who I am.”

• “I cannot control others, but I control myself.”

• “I speak clearly, honestly, and to the point.”

• “I consider my options “I know I have choices in my life, happiness.”

• . I am fully responsible for my own “We are equally entitled to express ourselves respectfully to one another.”

Self-praise is an important part of improving your self-esteem, while it may feel uncomfortable at first, it gets easier and really helps to build towards a better more positive future. Don’t forget to give yourself praise every time you achieve.

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Self-love #28

We live in a time where everything can change at an fast rate. There is no etiquette that exists for times like this. There is no wisdom upon which to rely or a set course to follow. If ever there was a time when we should be more patient, it would be now! We’ve never been here before, and we can’t expect to get it right the first time.

Sadly, too many of us do the exact opposite. We hold ourselves to an unrealistic standard, beat ourselves up for not doing everything well enough. We criticize ourselves for falling behind, and expect ourselves to not feel natural, human emotions.

Patience is that natural power we have within ourselves - to wait for something without getting angry or upset. However, the longer we wait, the more impatient we become.

In an ever-changing world, it’s not a surprise that our patience is tested. In our changing world today, we could all use a little more patience – with ourselves, our world around us, and with others.

Tips to be more patient:

Learning to stay patient with ourselves and others is one of the hardest skills to master in life. And, we need it now more than ever. Use the tips below to engender patience:

1. Focus on progress, not perfection

Think for a moment how you would talk to a child when learning something new. You would likely offer this child encouragement and support while passing off mistakes and errors because this is how kids learn and grow. So, why would you speak to yourself any differently?

You wouldn’t blame a child if they didn’t get it right the first time or get frustrated along the way. Even as adults, we never outgrow the need for gentle, supportive guidance. Try focusing on the progress you make and what you learn rather than beating yourself up for not doing it right or aren’t far enough along.

2. Practice

Like anything else, learning patience with ourselves takes practice. Research shows that waiting makes us happier in the long run. Give yourself the opportunity of time to earn your reward and resist the urge for immediate gratification. For example, try the following:

• Allow someone to go in front of you in line at the post office

• Really listen to someone's opinion without interrupting them and before you respond

• Watch half of a movie one night, and the other half the next night

• Wait a few moments to begin eating when you sit down for a meal

As you practice, you will begin to gain more patience, and may even realize that you feel calmer, can come to agreements more quickly, and feel happier overall.

3. Reduce stress

Patience becomes more difficult when you have a lot on your plate and a lot on your mind. When you are over-scheduled or preoccupied with worries, you have the reduced capability required for patience. To remedy this, examine the things in your life that cause your stress. Try to find solutions to these problems and ask for help when you need it. Look at where you spend your time and see what you can cut out to allow more time to focus on the things that are important to you.

There is no substitute for good old-fashioned self-care to reduce stress. Try three deep abdominal breaths three times a day and it will lower your levels of stress hormones in your bloodstream. Other relaxation techniques include imagery, guided meditation, body scan, or mindfulness practice. Of course, you also reduce stress if you get enough sleep, allow for physical activity in your day, and eat healthy (especially avoiding too many sweets and alcohol.)

4. Stop multitasking

We are more impatience when we juggle too many things at once. We all do it, we jump from one task to another without finishing the first. This practice proves ineffective time and time again. Worse, it causes a great deal of frustration because you do not do any one of these things well. By focusing on one thing at a time you will feel calmer and accomplish a great deal more.

Bonus tip: Before you go to bed, write down 3 things on a post-it note that you want to do the next day. Make these tasks a priority by tackling them first and resist the urge to get distracted by other things. Research in organizational settings demonstrated that this strategy significantly increased productivity in the workplace.

5. Say kind things to yourself

Changing your self-talk provides the most helpful practice you can do to develop the patience that resides within you. Learning to change your self-talk takes time, so try to be patient with yourself as you learn to be more patient with others.

Patience with ourselves and others requires mindful acknowledgment of our humanness and that none of us are perfect. Patience means practicing self-acceptance and focusing on progress rather than on perfection. It means giving yourself compassion rather than withholding it. It means speaking to yourself with more kindness and empathy such as:

“I know this is hard. I know you’re struggling,
but I believe in you. You can get through this.”

Change isn’t easy. Quick fixes reside mostly in theory, and lasting change takes time. We will experience challenges, and we may even go backwards at times. Long-term success includes small steps in the direction of your goal. With calm perseverance and loving kindness, you will achieve whatever you’ve set out to do.

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Self-Love #27

Self-forgiveness is not an easy thing because it involves recognizing uncomfortable thoughts and feelings. Some of us see self-forgiveness as a reminder that we are not perfect. And some of us see it as a way to love ourselves while accepting our flaws and defects.

It's difficult to forgive ourselves without doing what is necessary to make peace with ourselves from within. Self-forgiveness requires understanding, empathy, and thoughtfulness for ourselves. We all have the ability to forgive ourselves. It is something we must choose to practice most days/weeks/months/years.

Choosing to forgive ourselves doesn’t mean we are weak. It doesn't mean we are off the hook for our choices and actions. Self-forgiveness means we accept our actions and behaviors that occurred all the while, being willing to move in a positive direction. We can’t change what happened. Forgiving ourselves means letting go of the feelings and emotions associated with our flaws and defects. We let go of resentments and anger towards ourselves. It may be easier to forgive than to forgive ourselves.

Several things happen when we take the necessary steps to forgive ourselves. We accept responsibility for our actions and choices. We talk about our feelings of remorse, guilt, or other similar emotions that are associated with unacceptable behaviors and choices. We make amends with ourselves while repairing our self-trust. Self-forgiveness helps focus our thoughts on taking improved, positive actions in the future. When we are responsible with our actions, choices, and attitude, we show compassion for ourselves while putting our mistakes behind us. Accepting our actions limits the amount of guilt and regret.

It is normal to feel guilty when we've done something wrong. Guilt is simply a starting point to change our behavior. Feeling guilt is a healthy emotion. We can view ourselves as a good person that simply made a mistake. Shame is the emotion that makes us see ourselves as a bad person. Shame brings unwanted feelings that can lead to depression or addiction. When we acknowledge our mistakes, it doesn’t take away from our values.

Forgiving ourselves lets us move in a positive, forward direction with a new focus on our thoughts and actions. We are less likely to hate ourselves later or dwell our mistakes. We are ready to grow and be open-minded to gaining understanding about our actions. We review what we've learned about ourselves and how it can help us in the future. These actions place us in a better position to forgive ourselves in the future as well.

Understanding the act of self-forgiveness is vital to self-love and self-compassion. One of the most crucial benefits of self-forgiveness is to improve our self-image. As we learn and practice how to forgive ourselves, it reduces the risk of anxiety and depression. As we learn self-compassion, and we also naturally increase our self-esteem. And, in turn, we are more likely to maintain positive growth and reach goals.

If we don’t forgive ourselves, our mental health suffers in more ways than one. We may not realize that our mental health is suffering. If we don’t learn or practice aspects of self-forgiveness, we result to negative self-criticism and will struggle to move on from our mistakes. If we struggle to forgive others, then we will struggle with self-forgiveness.

Our mental health is essential in many areas of our life. It plays a vital role in decision-making and problem-solving. When we feel good about ourselves, we make better choices with long lasting positive effects in our lives.

Self-forgiveness is significant to our emotional health. We can practice forgiveness through a variety self-help methods, and sometimes, by working with a therapist or counselor. We never have to be ashamed of making mistakes. We ca learn healthy ways to forgive to improve our well-being and our outlook on life.

Self-forgiveness is a choice that says, “I want what is best for myself”. It is a reminder that we have to make tough choices sometimes and we are capable of working through consequences to see results.

Learning and practicing forgiveness benefits our physical health. We reduce the risk of physical aspects such as pain, high blood pressure, and increased cholesterol levels. Self-forgiveness helps us stay calm and focused. We are more likely to do activities that benefit our body while coping with unwanted emotions. Relationships with others benefit from our self-forgiveness. We are more likely to establish a healthy emotional bond with others while being able to repair them when difficult situations arise.

Self-forgiveness isn’t always easy. It can be hard to accept the fact w made a mistake. Dwelling on our mistakes can lead to self-hatred. It may not be easy to forgive ourselves if we’re can't repair what we did or or make things right. It is hard to come to terms with our behavior when it doesn't align with our values or beliefs. Sometimes deep feelings of remorse and guilt can result in doing something that doesn't line up with our values.

Sometimes, we would rather obsess about the problem because we don’t want to admit to our faults. Self-forgiveness requires that we change when we acknowledge our wrong. Sometimes, we are simply not ready to do so. Acknowledging we need to change is a start, then we need to engage in appropriate action to move forward productively.

Practicing self-forgiveness encourages our minds and bodies to calm itself when facing uncomfortable emotions. If we refuse to forgive ourselves, it becomes easy to fall into a mental trap of shame, anger, depression and despair. Instead of berating ourselves about the situation, being proactive is a healthier decision. Self-forgiveness reinforces this aspect while keeping anxiety and depression at bay. Practicing self-forgiveness also helps us learn valuable lessons essential to self-improvement.

Here are a few tips to practice:

1. Spend time understanding what forgiveness means. Sometimes we are quick to overlook the concept of self-forgiveness because we assume what happened was okay. Think about when a friend hurt you unintentionally, and they apologize while asking for your forgiveness. You may have felt worried or hurt for a minute, but when they acknowledged what they did, you felt better. It was easy for you to move on and not let it bother you. The concept is similar when forgiving ourselves. We need to be honest about our feelings. We need to accept that we not perfect and we make mistakes. We can’t grow if we’re not willing to move forward purposefully. We hold ourselves accountable by being trustworthy. It makes it easier to release unwanted feelings, so they don’t affect our mental health.

2. Acknowledge your feelings and what you did. You can’t learn from a situation unless you are honest about it. Put aside any judgment and focus on the situation for what it is. What emotions are you feeling? Focus on gaining an in-depth understanding of the situation. Your feelings don’t define how you respond to the situation. Taking the time to admit your wrongs helps you see things clearly while minimizing remorse and fault. You’ll also want to admit the lesson learned and how to improve moving forward.

3. Make amends, make changes, and be compassionate. Making amends is an indication that you feel bad about the pain you caused yourself. Making changes includes doing meaningful actions that will make a difference in your future. The changes you make may reflect what you learned from the situation. You may need to change your behavior, attitude, or your perception about certain situations. It may include getting involved in a meaningful way, such as giving your time and energy to ensure things are made right. Compassion includes taking time to love yourself. Self-love is vital to helping practice self-forgiveness and self-forgiveness is vital to self-love. When you learn how to treat yourself with kindness and how to accept yourself, you give the same to others more easily.

Thee greatest impact of self-forgiveness is feeling free of shameful emotions. Self-forgiveness lifts the cloud of self-hatred, self-blame and self-loathing that we have been carrying for so long, maybe unconsciously. It is a courageous act of self-love when we forgive ourselves and prioritize our happiness and freedom, and let go of the negative energy that has been weighing us down. Forgiveness sets us free.

There is simple, beautiful practice called Ho’oponopono (don't ask me to pronounce it LOL). It is an ancient Hawaiian practice of forgiveness and reconciliation.
(https://graceandlightness.com/hooponopono-hawaiian-prayer-for-forgiveness/)

Focus on forgiving yourself, look in the mirror and chant the following mantra again and again:

“I’m sorry
Please forgive me
Thank you
I love you”

This is the same mantra to chant if you are working on others. By saying “I'm sorry” even if you didn’t do anything wrong, by saying thank you even if you don’t feel it, you are giving up your attachment to the situation. You are acknowledging the oneness that exists in us all. That there is a part of you in the person you wish to forgive. That we are all part of the same whole.

In the process, we gain the understanding of nurturing self-love through self-forgiveness. 

Then we proceed to the Self-Forgiveness/Self-Love walk.

As we make our way through the walk, we focus on learning how we got our patterns, releasing them, gaining awareness, compassion and forgiveness, we are focus on learning new behaviors. 

These new behaviors will become our go-to behaviors when we are faced with experiences or circumstances that, in the past, would have sent us into negative patterns. Each time we encounter an old way of doing something, we have the opportunity to forgive ourselves, and reignite the self-love that we worked so hard to reclaim.

If you haven’t done a Self-Forgiveness/Self-Love walk, please take some time to reconnect to your true spiritual self – the person you are learning to love again and who is consistently just beneath the surface.

The suggested ritual for SELF-FORGIVENESS/SELF-LOVE WALK

Find a quiet place in nature where you can walk, uninterrupted if possible.

COMMITMENT RITUAL:

• Stand still and feel your integrated being — your intellect, emotional adult, spiritual self, and body. Experience the light in you.

• Silently state your commitment to forgive yourself for all that you have done in your life out of negative love patterns; also state your commitment to love yourself.

• Reach up your arms to the sky and look up into the limitlessness of the light.

• Reach out your arms to the horizon that encompasses the whole world, and slowly turn around completely to acknowledge your connection.

• Reach your hands down to touch the earth that supports and grounds you.

• Stand straight and breathe into your commitment to be authentic and present.

SELF-FORGIVENESS:

• Start walking slowly. As you walk, state softly to yourself each of the things in your life you have done out of patterns for which you forgive yourself. Use the phrase, “I forgive myself for…”

• Continue until you have forgiven yourself for everything you can remember. Then say, “I forgive myself for everything I have done out of my patterns.”

Repeat the Commitment Ritual.

SELF-LOVE:

• Start walking slowly.

• Begin by saying, “I love my whole self just as I am.”

• As you walk, speak softly about how you love and appreciate yourself. Speak of your whole integrated being, and of each of the four aspects of your being: body, intellect, emotional self, and spirit.

• End by saying again, “I love my whole self just as I am.”

Complete your walk by repeating the Commitment Ritual.

You can choose to repeat this walk many times in your life. As humans, we are by definition imperfect, and for each of us there will always be things for which to forgive ourselves. Self-love is a nurturing companion to self-forgiveness.

For more information on the Self-Forgiveness Walk: https://www.hoffmaninstitute.org/nurturing-self-love/

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Self Love #26

Self-acceptance is defined as “an individual’s acceptance of all of their attributes, positive or negative.”

When we fully accept ourselves, we embrace every part of ourselves, not just the things we like about ourselves! Self-acceptance is unconditional; we can recognize our defects, and still fully accept ourselves. To be accepting of ourselves is to feel satisfied with who we are, despite flaws, defects, and our past. Self-acceptance includes body acceptance and self-protection from negative criticism, and believing in one’s capacities.

Self-acceptance is an important concept in understanding the development of our mental well-being.

There are three attitudes that are fundamental to self-acceptance. The first is “body acceptance”. Body acceptance is defined as “accepting one's body regardless of not being completely satisfied with all aspects of it” (Tylka 2011). Another invaluable attitude is “self-protection from negative judgments from others”, which consists in a lack of concern that others are judging oneself negatively. (Carson 2006). The third attitude focuses on “feeling and believing in one's capacities”, which includes recognizing, appreciating and developing positives thoughts and feelings about one's capacities and realizations. (American Psychological Association, 2010)

Self-acceptance has been associated with different positive aspects of our mental health, such as high self-esteem, social contentment and emotional regulation. Self-acceptance allows us to experience a healthy relationship with self, contributing to the process of developing a positive body image. However, self-acceptance has been negatively associated with different various mental health issues, such as depression and anxiety. A lack of self-acceptance is considered as a primary cause to the development of eating disorders and obesity, and contributes to negative body image.

Body acceptance means we don’t have to be thrilled with your body every single minute. Instead we can learn to accept it. This may be easier than body love which can feel like an overwhelming goal. Body acceptance is treating our bodies with respect and care, accepting of our deepest insecurities, and knowing that some days will be harder than others. Body acceptance is about reflecting on why we feel negatively toward our body and how we can find peace with our body without needing to change it. When we have acceptance for our body, we have a more positive quality of life. As our body image improves, our motivation, confidence and self-discipline also improve.

Accepting our bodies doesn’t happen overnight for most of us. When we constantly practice gratitude, we develop a better awareness of the negative things we tell ourselves and the closer we become to accepting our “flaws” and seeing them as unique parts of who you are.

Self-acceptance can help us show up more authentically without worrying about others’ judgments of us. When we accept ourselves, we feel free to be our whole self. Self-acceptance protects us when dealing with stressful situations, failure, negative judgments from others, and stressful life situations. Awareness of this is central to the easing any social or emotional problems the promotion of high levels of life satisfaction and well-being. Self-acceptance builds resiliency in life. Resiliency is defined as “the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness.” When we have positive self-acceptance, we tend to be more accepting of difficult situations and difficult people. We become more resilient and protect ourselves from negative influences.

Many of use are harder on ourselves than we need to be. And some people are so hard on themselves and so self-loathing that people don’t want to be around them, thus continuing the cycle of feeling unloved. We need to love ourselves and appreciate the differences that make us who we are. We are in control of our self-talk! Negative self-talk is that nagging, negative chatter that interferes in the process of self-acceptance and self love. When we’re constantly focused on what’s wrong with us, we can’t make room for appreciating all that’s great about us.

It’s necessary to accept and values ourselves – including all of our strengths and our weaknesses. This doesn’t mean we have to accept all our flaws. However. If we want to lose weight, get better at our jobs, or learn a new language for example, it’s not OK to simply say “Oh, I’m just not good at those kinds of things, it’s not who I am”. We can learn, grow, and take on new challenges – it’s about knowing the difference between things we can change vs. the things we don’t feel like changing.

Every single one of us is useful and important. We all have a purpose in this world, and once we really accept that, it will improve our self-acceptance. If we’ve had failures in life - that’s not a bad thing. It means we took a risk. Every time we take a risk or make a mistake, we find out what we’re good at! Our belief in our self increases, along with self-acceptance and self-love.

Don’t try to keep up with the “Joneses” in the world. There’s nothing to gain in that. Social media is influencing our self-acceptance and self image more than ever. We are flooded daily with how attractive, rich, happy, fit, talented and successful others are. It’s hard not to be affected when we see such posts and updates, even when we know it’s not all rainbows and orgasms for others despite their best efforts to make it appear so. Comparing ourselves to others is harmful. We need to strive to be our very best selves and appreciate all the good things in our own lives.

It’s one thing to be pleased with ourselves for our good qualities and accomplishments, but another to feel good about ourselves despite the less than desirable qualities we have. Our flaws should never define us or restrict us from pursuing all that life has to offer. This applies to our external selves (our appearance or physical abilities) as well as our internal selves (including our personality traits, intelligence, mental health). We are robbing ourselves of the happiness we deserve every time we fail to accept ourselves for who we are.

Finally, When we have self-respect, we stand up for ourselves and for others. We also act with dignity and honor, even if that’s not what others are doing. It also means we own our mistakes. AND self-respect is a wonderful complimentary value to self-acceptance.

Self-acceptance is a bit complicated, but achievable! Doing the best we can, not judging others, and being good to ourselves and the people around us helps us reach a high level self-acceptance and self-confidence. When we take the time to really know ourselves, feel good about ourselves and respect ourselves, we are well on our way to finding more happiness and satisfaction. And life is way too hard when we constantly put ourselves down.

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Self Love #25

Have you heard of the 5 Love Languages? If you haven't, where have you been??

The author of the Love Languages is Dr. Gary Chapman. They were originally designed for relationships. However, Dr. Chapman has since written the 5 Love Languages for Singles, Men, Couples, Military, and Children. 

You can find more information here: https://www.5lovelanguages.com/learn.

This blog is strictly about the 5 love languages and self love/care. 

The Love Languages are as follows:
1. Words of Affirmation
2. Acts of Service
3. Receiving Gifts
4. Quality Time
5. Physical Touch 

If you have never taken the quiz, here is the link:
https://www.5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/love-language

Take the quiz and return to this blog.

When it comes to deep love and nourishment, too often we look to our partners and relationships. However, loving ourselves and our own self-care should take priority.

Here are some ways you can show yourself love and self-care. 

1. Words of Affirmation: Think Self-Love

If this is your love language, then your thoughts precede your emotions and behaviors.

Here are some methods for self love/self care for this love language:

• Write down affirmations to yourself and tape them throughout your car, your home, and at work. 

• Journal your strengths or gratitude, and accomplishments, what you love about yourself.

• Download the app "Mantra" and recite your mantra everyday. Or write down your own Mantra daily and read it to yourself throughout the day. 

• Write a love letter to yourself!

• Purchase Affirmation cards and pull 1 or 2 daily.

• Download the app "Insight Timer" and listen to a Self-Love Meditation. The app also has self-love courses you can take as well. 

• Become your own cheerleader and tell your inner critic to take a HIKE!

2. Acts of Service: Do Self-Love

If this is your love language, you need actions you do for yourself. Such as self love activities like checking things off of your to-do list or cleaning your living space where your future self will thank you. How can you be of service to yourself?

Here are some Acts of Service you can do to show yourself love and care:

• Prepare healthy meals for yourself. Grocery shop with intention and health in mind. 

• Create an clean, organized, home environment for yourself. 

• Schedule regular physical, dental and mental health check-ups.

• Groom yourself with love and care - facials, mani/pedis, haircut/color, etc 

• Make a to-do list and mark things as off as you accomplish them.

• Set a goal and make a plan to accomplish it.

• Buy a planner and organize your life. 
  

• Purge the stuff that doesn't bring you joy.

3. Receiving Gifts: Absorb Self-Love

If this is your love language, it means you will feel self love fully through the investments you put into gifts for yourself, whether it’s something small or a bigger high-ticket item.

Here are some ideas for self-love and self-care through receiving gifts:

• Buy only what you love. Don’t allow things in your home and closet that don’t bring you positive vibrations.

• Gift yourself with an experience on your bucket list. Budget it out and plan it.

• Invest in your education and advancement. Take a course or a class. 

• Treat yourself travel, whatever your budget allows. 

• Buy some new bed sheets or pajamas 

• Treat yourself to a massage

• Take yourself to the movie you've been dying to see or to a play you've wanted to see. 

• Buy yourself some flowers!

4. Quality Time: Be Present with Self-Love

If you find that your self care love language is quality time, that means you appreciate the time you invest in yourself from relaxing alone time to time spent on a fun hobby or improving a skill.

Here are some ways to show yourself some love with quality time:

• Set aside time for daily mindfulness practices such as meditation or deep breathing exercises.

• Make time for leisure and hobbies. Time for play and enjoyment is an important aspect of life.

• Prioritize sleep and exercise 

• Do not over-schedule, over-book or over-commit.

• Take yourself on a date - dinner and a movie? Yes please. 

• A night in - hot bubble bath and soothing music.

• Do some Yoga stretches at home. 

• Go for a nature hike. 

• Visit an art museum alone. 

• Try aromatherapy

5. Physical Touch: Feel Self-Love

Physical touch in the context of self care love languages means that you appreciate self love activities that are physically involved from a relaxing massage to the feeling of comfortable pajamas on your skin.

Here are some ideas for self love and physical touch:

• Stretch your muscles and give yourself a massage with a foam roller. 

• Release toxins by taking a hot bath with Epsom salts or essential oils. Release the stress and soak in the love. 

• Moisturize your skin with lotions or oils. As you touch your skin, thank each body part for all it does for you.

• Give yourself a spa treatment: manicure, pedicure, facial, deep conditioning treatment, etc. 

• Dance 

• Take yourself on a coffee date with a great book.

• Get a message or give yourself a massage

• Take a day to just simply rest and do nothing.

Fostering a loving relationship with yourself is incredibly healing and helps you connect with others more authentically. 

And just for giggles and laughs....

Leave me a comment with your love language. I'd love to know!

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