Self Love #26

Self-acceptance is defined as “an individual’s acceptance of all of their attributes, positive or negative.”

When we fully accept ourselves, we embrace every part of ourselves, not just the things we like about ourselves! Self-acceptance is unconditional; we can recognize our defects, and still fully accept ourselves. To be accepting of ourselves is to feel satisfied with who we are, despite flaws, defects, and our past. Self-acceptance includes body acceptance and self-protection from negative criticism, and believing in one’s capacities.

Self-acceptance is an important concept in understanding the development of our mental well-being.

There are three attitudes that are fundamental to self-acceptance. The first is “body acceptance”. Body acceptance is defined as “accepting one's body regardless of not being completely satisfied with all aspects of it” (Tylka 2011). Another invaluable attitude is “self-protection from negative judgments from others”, which consists in a lack of concern that others are judging oneself negatively. (Carson 2006). The third attitude focuses on “feeling and believing in one's capacities”, which includes recognizing, appreciating and developing positives thoughts and feelings about one's capacities and realizations. (American Psychological Association, 2010)

Self-acceptance has been associated with different positive aspects of our mental health, such as high self-esteem, social contentment and emotional regulation. Self-acceptance allows us to experience a healthy relationship with self, contributing to the process of developing a positive body image. However, self-acceptance has been negatively associated with different various mental health issues, such as depression and anxiety. A lack of self-acceptance is considered as a primary cause to the development of eating disorders and obesity, and contributes to negative body image.

Body acceptance means we don’t have to be thrilled with your body every single minute. Instead we can learn to accept it. This may be easier than body love which can feel like an overwhelming goal. Body acceptance is treating our bodies with respect and care, accepting of our deepest insecurities, and knowing that some days will be harder than others. Body acceptance is about reflecting on why we feel negatively toward our body and how we can find peace with our body without needing to change it. When we have acceptance for our body, we have a more positive quality of life. As our body image improves, our motivation, confidence and self-discipline also improve.

Accepting our bodies doesn’t happen overnight for most of us. When we constantly practice gratitude, we develop a better awareness of the negative things we tell ourselves and the closer we become to accepting our “flaws” and seeing them as unique parts of who you are.

Self-acceptance can help us show up more authentically without worrying about others’ judgments of us. When we accept ourselves, we feel free to be our whole self. Self-acceptance protects us when dealing with stressful situations, failure, negative judgments from others, and stressful life situations. Awareness of this is central to the easing any social or emotional problems the promotion of high levels of life satisfaction and well-being. Self-acceptance builds resiliency in life. Resiliency is defined as “the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness.” When we have positive self-acceptance, we tend to be more accepting of difficult situations and difficult people. We become more resilient and protect ourselves from negative influences.

Many of use are harder on ourselves than we need to be. And some people are so hard on themselves and so self-loathing that people don’t want to be around them, thus continuing the cycle of feeling unloved. We need to love ourselves and appreciate the differences that make us who we are. We are in control of our self-talk! Negative self-talk is that nagging, negative chatter that interferes in the process of self-acceptance and self love. When we’re constantly focused on what’s wrong with us, we can’t make room for appreciating all that’s great about us.

It’s necessary to accept and values ourselves – including all of our strengths and our weaknesses. This doesn’t mean we have to accept all our flaws. However. If we want to lose weight, get better at our jobs, or learn a new language for example, it’s not OK to simply say “Oh, I’m just not good at those kinds of things, it’s not who I am”. We can learn, grow, and take on new challenges – it’s about knowing the difference between things we can change vs. the things we don’t feel like changing.

Every single one of us is useful and important. We all have a purpose in this world, and once we really accept that, it will improve our self-acceptance. If we’ve had failures in life - that’s not a bad thing. It means we took a risk. Every time we take a risk or make a mistake, we find out what we’re good at! Our belief in our self increases, along with self-acceptance and self-love.

Don’t try to keep up with the “Joneses” in the world. There’s nothing to gain in that. Social media is influencing our self-acceptance and self image more than ever. We are flooded daily with how attractive, rich, happy, fit, talented and successful others are. It’s hard not to be affected when we see such posts and updates, even when we know it’s not all rainbows and orgasms for others despite their best efforts to make it appear so. Comparing ourselves to others is harmful. We need to strive to be our very best selves and appreciate all the good things in our own lives.

It’s one thing to be pleased with ourselves for our good qualities and accomplishments, but another to feel good about ourselves despite the less than desirable qualities we have. Our flaws should never define us or restrict us from pursuing all that life has to offer. This applies to our external selves (our appearance or physical abilities) as well as our internal selves (including our personality traits, intelligence, mental health). We are robbing ourselves of the happiness we deserve every time we fail to accept ourselves for who we are.

Finally, When we have self-respect, we stand up for ourselves and for others. We also act with dignity and honor, even if that’s not what others are doing. It also means we own our mistakes. AND self-respect is a wonderful complimentary value to self-acceptance.

Self-acceptance is a bit complicated, but achievable! Doing the best we can, not judging others, and being good to ourselves and the people around us helps us reach a high level self-acceptance and self-confidence. When we take the time to really know ourselves, feel good about ourselves and respect ourselves, we are well on our way to finding more happiness and satisfaction. And life is way too hard when we constantly put ourselves down.

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