Self Appreciation

“You’re either self-appreciating or self-depreciating. There is no middle.”― Lana M. H. Wilder

What is Self-Appreciation?

• Self-appreciation is the process of appreciating yourself.

• Appreciating yourself is about being grateful for yourself.

• Self-Appreciation is not self-esteem,  it’s not about feeling special but accepting our uniqueness instead.

• Self appreciation is saying thank you to ourselves, for all the things that we usually compliment others. 

• Self appreciation, means we appreciate ourselves not because we’re better than others, but because all people possess goodness.

• Self Appreciation is about consciously acknowledging the positive within us, without the need to compare ourselves to others.

• Self-appreciation can change our life by transforming negative beliefs of ourselves into positive and nurturing beliefs.

I believe looking within is the first step whenever I find myself at a crossroads of decision-making. I, as well as many of us, ask ourselves, “I am doing the right thing?” or “Am I capable of doing this thing or not?”

Sometimes it’s more difficult to see what’s right about ourselves than what’s wrong. For some of us even thinking about our positive traits makes us uncomfortable. Praise and compliments make us squirm, and we have no idea how to respond without feeling self-conscious. Flattery feels a lot better than insults, but how many of us really take the praise in? Own it. Feel it. Delight in it. For many reasons, it’s often more difficult for us to feel positively about ourselves. Much of this stems from fear.  One fear involves setting up high expectations of ourselves and others. Minimizing our positive traits means that we’re more likely to pleasantly surprise others by doing well rather than disappoint them by doing poorly. If we’re in the habit of putting ourselves down, recognition of our positive qualities will feel foreign to us. Another fear is the perception of being vain.

So how do we celebrate our admirable qualities in a healthy way? I believe the answer is self-compassion, which involves treating ourselves with kindness, a sense of common humanity, and mindfulness when considering our perceived inadequacies — though in a different guise. I like to call it “self-appreciation.” When we can enjoy what’s good about ourselves, acknowledging that all people have strengths as well as weaknesses, we allow ourselves to revel in our goodness without evoking feelings of arrogance or overconfidence.

We need to consider kindness as it applies to self-appreciation. Would you take your friends’ good qualities for granted without ever acknowledging them or letting your friends know what you like about them? Probably not, yet many of us do so to ourselves.

It’s a great gift of self-kindness to appreciate ourselves and to demonstrate our approval with sincere praise. We don’t have to speak this praise aloud, making ourselves and others uncomfortable in the process. But we can quietly give ourselves the inner acknowledgment we deserve.

The sense of common humanity inherent to self-appreciation means that we appreciate ourselves not because we’re better than others, but because all people have goodness in them. To appreciate others’ goodness while ignoring our own creates a false division between us and them. It creates a sense of "better than" or "less than".

Celebrating our achievements is no more self-centered than having compassion for our failings. We can’t really claim personal responsibility for our gifts and talents. They were born from our genetics, the love and nurturing of our parents, the generosity of friends, the guidance of teachers, and the wisdom of our collective culture. Appreciation for our good qualities, then, is really an expression of gratitude for all who have shaped us as individuals. Self-appreciation humbly honors those who have helped us become the person we are today.

Self-appreciation also involves mindfulness. Just as we need to notice others’ good qualities in order to appreciate them, we need to consciously acknowledge our own positive features. However, we’re often so focused on our mistakes and flaws that we don’t even see when we get things right. Try meditating and focusing on your positive qualities and traits. 

What do you notice most when you get a work evaluation, the nine points of praise or the one point of criticism? Some may be concerned that if we focus too much on what’s right about ourselves we’ll ignore much needed areas of growth. If we take a lopsided view of ourselves — “I am perfect and have no weaknesses whatsoever” — this would be a problem. But the truth is that every human being has both positive and negative traits. Rather than running with an exaggerated story-line about either - good or bad - we need to honor and accept ourselves as we authentically are. No better and no worse. The key is having balance and perspective so that we can see ourselves without distortion.

William James wrote, “the deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.” We can meet this essential need without depending on other people to approve of us. When we treat ourselves with the same kindness with which we treat our good friends, we’ll have the support and care required to help us thrive.

Here’s some ways we can can show ourselves some self-appreciation:

• Look back and reflect on where you’ve been in your life.

One of the easiest ways to show self-appreciation is practicing reflection. Reflecting gives you the ability to learn new skills by looking at how far you have come. Looking back on where you came from can give you a sense of strength in truly understanding where you can go, providing optimism for the future. 

 

• Put time into your physical health.

This doesn’t mean going on a diet or starting an extreme exercise routine. It means making sure your body is fueled by food that makes you feel good and that you get regular physical exercise. Evidence has shown that when you take care of your body and put time into your physical health, you can have a greater sense of appreciation for who you are and all that your body can do

• Put time and energy into what you value. 

Connecting with something greater than ourselves and finding meaning in what you value can really help you appreciate ourselves by allowing you to have a greater connection and meaning. Finding what you value can be a task. To do this, list 5 people who you look up to or that are role models for you. Think about why those people are important to you and the values they stand for. This can help you realize some of the values you embody as well.

• Evaluate the way you talk to yourself.

We all have self-talk and sometimes that self talk can be our worst enemy. One thing you can do is identify the negative cycles of self-talk. Try to identify when you start having more negative self dialogue. When those cycles are identified, you can start turning them around. When you start to doubt yourself over something you are about to do or have done, allow yourself to turn the fear and doubt into an opportunity, and instead make it positive.

• Make a gratitude list of your talents and assets.

Often times we leave ourselves off our gratitude list, but it is important to make sure you show self-appreciation. By recognizing and reflecting on where you’ve been and where you can go, putting time into your physical health, figuring out what it is that you truly value, and lastly evaluating the way you talk to ourselves, you can show ourselves the same gratitude you would show others.

Most of us have the habit of beating ourselves up all the time. We criticize ourselves for not getting things right, we are rushing, pursuing and doing all day and all night. And yet there is a nagging voice in the back of our head saying you are not good enough, you are not worthy, you can’t make it. Self-appreciation is the key to release self-criticism and low self-esteem. Self-appreciation is the loving light that will gently uplift your authentic self.

Here are 7 ways self-appreciation can help you improve your life:

1. Improved Self-esteem

2. Increased Self-forgiveness

3. Increased Self-understanding

4. Increased Self-worth

5. Mindfulness and Body Awareness

6. Less procrastination

7. Self-Growth

Being appreciative of ourselves is as simple as using kind words on ourselves.

Change how you speak to yourself.

Think of the language you would use when you are being appreciative of someone else.

By practicing self appreciation you experience the opportunity to become closer in recognizing our own inner values, and as a way to heal our spiritual and emotional well being.

Leave me a comment and say hello!

Thank you!
Dyanne

https://linktr.ee/deelitefulphotography

Spirituality and Self-love

 The basis of any spiritual practice is self-love.

Self-love and spirituality go hand-in-hand. When we grow spiritually, we also grow our self-love and vice versa. If you’ve been feeling like you're not connecting with your own self-love then perhaps it's time to focus your spirituality.

Spiritual self-love is a beautiful way to incorporate move love into your life in very simple ways, but more importantly, it connects you to you, the most important connection in life. Without your own connection, you will constantly look for it elsewhere, outside of yourself. You will constantly be disappointed when you can’t find it.

Learn how to love yourself spiritually through self-love practices. Learn how to love with your soul, not only for yourself but for others too!

Self-love and spiritual awakening go hand-in-hand. If you commit to self-love, you also commit to deeper spiritual transformation. Love is a quality of the heart and soul – and when you actively seek to expand that sense of self-compassion, you are also awakening new parts of your being.

Perhaps this is the most enchanting thing about self-love: it’s not just a surface practice, it is actually a spiritual path. When we are devoted to loving the Divine essence within ourselves, our practice takes on a more meaningful, deeper, quality.

Spiritual self-love is all about being good to yourself, learning to be comfortable in your skin; to love, honor, appreciate and accept all of yourself. This includes the “good parts” and the “not-so-good parts.”

It is to smile in the mirror, love your reflection, hug yourself and quietly accept and know that you will get through all difficulties with grace.

On the spiritual path, the first step is really self-love. If you want to live a life that feels joyful, abundant and so on, then you have to first start with yourself. You have to first start with self-love.

Here are some ways to become more spiritual on your journey of self-love:

• Foster Mindfulness to Help You Cultivate Self-Love

• Practice Self-Care

• Forgive Yourself

• Set Boundaries

• Live Intentionally

• Breathe

• Spend time in nature

• Keep a gratitude journal

• Pray

• Meditate

When we learn to love ourselves fully and wholly, amazing things happen!

• You will feel freer and lighter in your energy

• Your vibration and energy levels will be lifted

• You will feel confident and good about yourself

• You will accept yourself just as you are

• You will feel empowered to make changes in your life from a place of love

• You will no longer tolerate being a doormat or not standing up for yourself

• You will feel more grateful about yourself and your life

• You will raise your levels of self-esteem

• You will have more love to give in your relationships

• You will open your heart to attracting more loving relationships

Thank you for reading my blog today. 

Please leave me a comment and let me know you were here!

And don't forget to subscribe so you get notified when I write another blogpost. 

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Self Love Master Class #21

 What is self-love? 

Before a we can practice Self-Love, we need to understand what it means.

"Self-love is a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological and spiritual growth. Self-love means having a high regard for your own well-being and happiness. Self-love means taking care of your own needs and not sacrificing your well-being to please others. Self-love means not settling for less than you deserve." (Brain and Behavior Research Foundation)

Self-love can mean something different for each of us because we all have different ways of caring for ourselves. Figuring out what self-love looks like for you as an individual is an important part of your mental health.

What does self-love mean to you?

Maybe it means:

• Talking to and about yourself with love

• Prioritizing yourself

• Giving yourself a break from self-judgement

• Trusting yourself

• Being true to yourself

• Being nice to yourself

• Setting healthy boundaries

• Forgiving yourself when you aren’t being true or nice to yourself

• Listen to our bodies

• Take breaks from work and move/stretch.

• Put the phone down and connect to yourself or others, or do something creative.

• Eating healthily, but sometimes indulge in your favorite foods.

We can start with smalls steps and make them count – it might be a long journey, but it will be worth it! If we all have confidence, we will stop questioning every decision we take and move on to a better future. And our mental health will improve as well!

Failure?
Failing and messing up are parts of life, so you don’t need to be too hard on yourself. Loving yourself helps you be more aware of the possibilities and choices you have. When you start accepting your failures, you become kinder and quicker to forgive and move on. You start finding solutions rather than holding on to your problems. Not only do you accept your failures, but you become less insecure and more confident in trying them again. It's time to stop beating yourself every time you fail or make a mistake.

Relationships
Remember, we are the ones who teach others how to treat us. People notice when a we don't  have self-love or self-respect, and will disrespect us. We tolerate how others treat us when we tolerate it in ourselves.  It is an important aspect when it comes to relationships. Whether it's your friends, family or a romantic relationship, if you love yourself then you set a standard of how you will be treated in a certain relationship. So, if you want others to love and respect you – begin loving and respecting yourself first!

When you love yourself, you start taking care of yourself. A tiny waist or abs do not define a healthy body. A healthy person is one who takes care of their mental and emotional health as well as physical health. Start prioritizing self-care because mental well-being is as important as physical well-being, and you are the only one who can work for it.

For many of us, self-love is another way to say self-care. To practice self-care, we  need to go back to the basics such as:

Self-love means accepting ourselves as we are in this very moment for everything that we are. It means accepting our emotions for what they are and putting our physical, emotional and mental well-being first.

If you don’t know already, there is a connection between the way you feel about yourself and your mental health. Having no confidence in ourselves will make us doubt our passions, intentions, and goals. It isn’t easy to accept ourselves with all our flaws and character defects, but it isn’t impossible.

If you want to increase the happiness in your life and give your mind some mental peace – then take a step towards self-love, and take it today!

Leave me a comment:
Name one thing you will do today to show some love to yourself. 

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Dealing with Imposter Syndrome

***First - My apologies for not posting sooner. I have had a long week of auto-immune joint pain, brain fog, and headaches.***

 Today's topic is Imposter Syndrome

As a photographer, I experience Imposter Syndrome from time to time. When it happens, its usually because I begin to compare myself to other photographers. "Comparison is the thief of joy." The inner critic points out everything I am "doing wrong". This is the reason I do not follow other photographers on social media. (I do follow those that I consider educator/photographers)

What is Imposter Syndrome? 

Imposter syndrome is loosely defined as doubting your abilities and feeling like a fraud. It disproportionately affects high-achieving people, who find it difficult to accept their accomplishments. Many question whether they’re deserving of recognition and accomplishments.

It’s that nagging feeling that you don’t belong, and it affects women and minority groups disproportionately. 

Here’s how to combat it.

It shows up like this:

• You feel like a fraud. 

• You devalue your worth. 

• You undermine your own experience or expertise. 

Here are a few suggestions to combat Imposter Syndrome:

• Make a list of things you do well. Make a list of at least 10 things that show you are just as qualified as anyone else for the what you do, things you do well. 

• Say your name aloud with Affirmations. “My name is Dyanne and I’m awesome!” 

• Own your accomplishments. Women tend to rationalize away their successes by assigning them to things like “luck,” “hard work” or “help from others” rather than the innate ability or intelligence than men often cite. Own the role you played in your success by forbidding yourself from falling back on excuses. Say these words out loud: “I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished.”

• Visualize success. Visualize precisely how you’ll navigate the situation — successfully — before it happens. This is sometimes referred to as Manifesting.

• Talk to a colleague or friend. 

• Unsubscribe from doubt: 
• There are two kinds of doubt: 
• Self-doubt, which causes you to freeze up
• Idea doubt, which can motivate people to refine, test or experiment with a good idea. 
• Turn self-doubt into idea doubt - Tell yourself: "It’s not that I’m bad, it’s that the first few attempts of any idea are always not good — and I’m just not there yet."

• Decide to be confident. Literally make the choice to be confident. Raise your hand. Volunteer your expertise. 

• Remind yourself you’re good at what you do. 

REMEMBER!

Failure doesn’t make you a fraud. Even the best athletes screw up, the best lawyers lose cases, the best actors star in busts. Failing, losing and being wrong on occasion are all part of the job. Don’t let it define you. Learn from your mistakes and move forward.

Self-Love Masterclass #18

​I had a lofty goal last month to do 28 days of self love. And here it is - March 12, 2022. I had good intentions I swear! And daily blogging is more difficult than I thought! 

I decided for this blog, I will tell the backstory of my passion for self-love and self-acceptance, as well as self-forgiveness, self-compassion, and self patience. 

I grew up in a dysfunctional family. I didn’t know it was dysfunctional until I was older and realized other families didn’t act like mine. My dad was a “functioning” alcoholic. My mom was his enabler. I had 4 brothers all younger than I. We moved at least once a year until I was 16. I didn’t go to the same school two years in a row. My brothers were my best friends. There was a lot of physical, emotional and sexual abuse in our home. No one talked about any of it. 

I learned a lot of untrue beliefs that became survival skills:

1. I am not whole without a man.

2. I can get what I want by using my body

3. Put everyone else before myself

4. Sacrifice my life for my children

5. Women are not as important as men

This is how I lived my life from young adulthood until I was 50. There was something jarring about turning 50. My kids were grown and with their spouses. I was a widow - twice. I had a college degree, a successful outpatient substance abuse clinic, and lots of friends. Yet I was still unhappy. 

I didn’t like me. When I looked in the mirror, it was with disgust. And on the outside, I looked successful and confident. 

So began my journey of learning to love me. I ended a relationship with a guy I had been dating for 5 years. I moved in with my oldest son until I could find my own place. I bought my own car for the first time. And 3 months later moved into my apartment. It was the best thing I’d ever done. I got a pet - my cat named Lucy. 

I set out to become my own best friend. I slowly decorated my apartment the way I wanted. Without anyone else’s input. I began “dating” myself. I went to dinner alone. Went to the movies alone. I spent time with my grandchildren, going bowling, going to the local parks. And for the first time, I felt free. I told my inner critic to take a hike. My inner critic was telling me that it was all temporary. That I needed a man. That I couldn’t support myself financially. I told the inner critic to “watch me. I am successful. I can do this. I am an amazingly strong and determined woman.” 

I found something to love about my body every day. I love my feet - they carry me where I need to go. I love my legs. They are strong and shapely. I love my stomach. It provides nutrition to the rest of my body. Life grew in my tummy. I worked out - not to punish myself - but to be stronger and healthier, because I love myself. I love my arms. They give loving hugs. My arms have my hands at the end. My hands are beautiful tools. They feed me, fix my hair, do my makeup, and wash the rest of me. And so it went. 

I went to therapy. I knew it was the key to unloading all the baggage from my family of origin. Therapy was the key to unpacking the baggage to two marriages that ended with my husbands dying. One from and overdose and one from lung cancer. 

Living alone for a year without dating or even having sex with another person was the best thing I did. Every day I felt stronger. More confident. I unpacked those untrue beliefs that’s held me back from my own potential.   

The inner critic is still here with me, but my positive self is louder. I no longer give my inner critic a voice. I give my positive self the voice. 

My mother was my biggest supporter. My personal cheerleader. The person who believed in me before I could believe in me. And I learned that I am that person too. I am my biggest cheerleader. I believe in me today. I am my biggest supporter. No one is responsible for me but me. 

I don’t need another person to save me or support me today. I am saving myself. I am loving myself. I started a new business- a boudoir photography business. Deeliteful Photography LLC. I am determined to succeed. Whatever that looks like for me. I accept failure as a part of success. Learning is success. 

My journey to self love has not been linear, but more peeling of the layers to get to the core of who I am. Sometimes, I’m sad that it took me 50 years to start the journey. And here I am continuing and leading by example. My goal is to show others that self love is important. Vital. Life-saving. And self love is a necessity,  as much as food and water are to live. 

I will leave you with some quotes from author and podcaster Glennon Doyle. Her book, Untamed, has changed my life forever! 

Please leave me a comment. Tell me about your journey to self love. 

Self Love Masterclass #13

If I had to guess, I’d say that human beings have been comparing themselves to one another since the beginning of time.

Sometimes these comparisons can be helpful. They can give you a baseline for improvement and inspire you to change.

Other times, they can be a means to pick yourself apart and see everything that you think is wrong with yourself.

Comparison has been a constant experience for me. I note my friends’ successes or an Social Media influencer figure and feel envious. Or a photographer who has a different editing style or is great at composite images in Photoshop.

When I was younger, I met a girl – I will call her Adrienne.

She was everything I wasn’t. Or everything I thought I wasn’t. Bright, funny, outgoing. She was beautiful. She had a perfect body (in my eyes). People adored her instantly, and luck always seemed to land squarely at her feet.

Adrienne quickly became one of my close friends. Despite our deep bond, her beauty always tore me apart.

She was like a mirror, but all I could see were my shortcomings staring back at me.

Everything I achieved felt tainted by her achievements, which, somehow, always seemed superior. I could never measure up, no matter how hard I tried. It crushed me on a daily basis.

I might have expected these feelings at 16, but I was 30, a grown-up. But Adrienne brought my insecurities into sharp focus.

On an intellectual level, I knew there were things that were great about me. But emotionally, I just couldn’t get there.

By comparison, everything in my life seemed less than. I wasn’t as pretty nor as fun. I wasn’t as fearless nor as talented. I didn’t have as many friends, and I wasn’t as appealing to the opposite sex.

My confidence was taking a beating, and I felt truly worthless. All of these feelings were amplified by the guilt I had for feeling this way about a friend. I sought practical advice from my mentor that I could use to help me get past these feelings.

I knew that I was going to need some serious help to get over this.

Here is what I learned from this experience.

Name your inner critic

Debbie, my mentor, cut right to the chase and explained something important to me: Naming something gives it less power.

Debbie had me give my inner critic — that critical voice inside that points out all of my perceived inadequacies — a name and identify the voice, who was behind the voice.

I recognized quickly that it was my own voice, I named her Stella, and as we got better acquainted, I discovered she was particularly nasty. Stella wanted me to think I was never good enough.

She liked to remind me that I often let fear get the better of me, that I could stand to lose a few pounds, and that I’m an awkward mess in big groups.

It was agonizing to hear how I’d let this voice in my head berate me. Now that I’d given her a name, I could recognize when she spoke up.

I could begin the next crucial step in freeing myself from the comparison trap: starting a conversation with her.

Be your own best friend 

I’ve always considered myself a good friend, but Debbie pointed out that I wasn’t being a particularly good friend to myself.

“How would you comfort a friend in a crisis?” she asked me.

I replied that I would sit with her and discuss her feelings. I’d comfort her and remind her what a great person she is. I’d probably give her a great big hug.

Debbie told me that when Stella gets in the driver’s seat, I need to speak to her with love and understanding.

When Stella popped up in my head, I started a conversation. I’d ask Stella how she was feeling and why she might be feeling that way. I’d empathize with her, offer her words of encouragement, and remind her of all the reasons she’s great.

Debbie, my mentor, had one simple rule: “If you wouldn’t say it to a friend, don’t say it to yourself.”

By following this rule, I started to understand where some of my insecurities were coming from. I was able to unpack why Adrienne triggered these feelings in me.

I came to realize that both of us were at similar points in life and that she was excelling in the exact areas I felt I was failing.

Keep a record of achievements

When we compare ourselves to others, we focus on all of their strengths and achievements and ignore our own. That’s why Debbie encouraged me to keep a record of all the good things I had done.

It didn’t matter what they were: If it was something I felt proud of, I made a record of it. Soon, I had a bulging notebook of things I had accomplished over the weeks.

If I aced a project at work, I recorded it. If I helped a friend in a crisis, I wrote it down. If I dragged myself to the gym on a morning I really didn’t want to go, I wrote it down.

Looking at all I had achieved, both big and small, boosted my self-esteem. I felt a swell of pride. Adrienne was great, I realized, but in so many wonderful ways, so was I.

Practice self-care

Running a hot bath and pouring yourself a hot cup of tea be great self-care, but we can take it even further. Self-care can involve honest and a self inventory.

It’s a process of looking inward and seeing what you find. Debbie encouraged me to keep a journal and jot down my thoughts, particularly when I was in a self-esteem spiral downward.

Once those thoughts were on the page, I had the power to observe them and decide whether or not they were true or just a result of me feeling inadequate.

I was able to unpack them and understand where they may have come from, what triggered them, and it was incredibly freeing.

It wasn’t always easy. Confronting some of my darker feelings was hard, but looking them straight in the eye gave me the power to begin moving forward.

Be proactive

My comparison journey didn’t end there.

Yes, I felt clearer on my unique talents, skills, and qualities. I was much more confident, and I no longer saw Adrienne as my rival. I felt lighter. My friends noticed that I seemed to be feeling better about myself.

I wasn’t weighed down by feelings of inadequacy anymore or worrying about hiding my jealousy. I could celebrate Adrienne's successes, as well as my own.

Comparing myself made me feel lost. It had deprived me of joy and made me feel miserable. The self-doubt I was feeling played out in other areas of my life.

I wasn’t always present with friends because I was playing the comparison game in my head. Relationships were doomed to failure because I didn’t feel good about myself from the start.

Once Debbie helped me gain the tools, I had a clearer focus on what I wanted in life and how I could get it. I didn’t feel burdened by the self-doubt that had held me back before. Shaking off comparison had allowed me to enjoy life again.

Working with these tools is an ongoing practice. Even now, I know I need to keep up that self-talk with Stella and continue adding to my record of achievements. I know it’s important to regularly look inward to confront uncomfortable emotions.

Breaking free from comparison is not a linear journey. There are bumps in the road, moments of insecurity, and doubt. But maintaining the practice that Debbie taught me has helped keep my self-esteem on an even keel.

There will always be someone prettier, more talented, intelligent, bubbly, or outgoing. For me, the trick is knowing the unique value of what I bring to the table.

I challenge you to write down all your successes and accomplishments for 30 days. Buy a notebook or journal and write them down. Daily. Every day we have success! Even if it is “I got out of bed when I didn't want to.” Write it down!

Self Love Masterclass #12

​The most tragic misunderstanding of our time:

I struggled as a new Mom. My old, familiar life had vanished overnight and I felt lost and insecure. 

Furthermore, I never experienced that instant connection with my child and required a few weeks to slowly develop motherly love.

But one day, while I was sitting on the sofa rocking my son to sleep in my arms, I looked at him and suddenly realised how infinitely worthy and valuable he was.

Yet, he wasn’t famous, influential or wealthy. He wasn’t successful, had no University qualifica- tions or impressive achievements.

He just was worthy. He didn’t need to be or do anything. He was worth magnified.

And that’s when I started to understand that, all this time, I had been the victim of an enormous (and disastrous) misunderstanding!

Self-worth cannot be increased through our actions or achievements. 

We cannot force ourselves to overcome feelings of unworthiness. 

And it’s also unnecessary.

Because our commonly accepted concept of self-worth is flawed. 

The surprising truth about self-worth

We usually define self-worth as the perception of our own worth.

The problem is that our industrialised societies focus intensely on competition, materialism, image, prestige, power, achievement, beauty and fame.

Hence, our worth becomes externally dictated. We are assigned a certain level of worth based on our bank account balance, (society defined) success level, popularity or usefulness (to society).

If you don’t fulfil the criteria, you have no worth. If you work hard and achieve greatness, you gain worth. If you fail or make a mistake your worth is diminished. Simple as that!

But if that was actually true, my son would be completely worthless!

And that’s when I finally realised that the elusive self-worth I had been chasing for most of my life is not a character trait, physical feature or invisible muscle. It isn’t even an emotion.

Self-worth is awareness. Nothing else.

The awareness of our true inner worth. We ARE worth personified. Every one of us.

This realization was the fundamental step to healing my self-worth.

Have you ever looked at a newborn baby and thought: “This thing is worthless! Let’s hope he will grow up to be smart, attractive or famous so he can earn some worth in time.”

Or have you ever watched a toddler stand in front of a mirror in a sparkly dress and tell herself: “You even make this gorgeous dress look atrocious. You are so ugly, fat and pathetic.”

Honestly, I would be shocked if you have! At the beginning of our lives we just know that we ARE worth!

We trust that the world is an amazing, friendly place and understand that the Universe caters to all our needs because we deserve safety, love and happiness.

We incessantly fight for what we want and we express ourselves confidently (and loudly) in order to achieve our goals.

We don’t care what others think of us, we aren’t bothered about making mistakes. We just try again!

We are proud of the tiniest achievement. We know we are awesome. We even love our poo... because we made it!

But then life happens. We are exposed to society’s values and judgements. 

We experience failure, disappointment, criticism and rejection. We start to doubt our worth because others don’t seem to see it.

And little by little the awareness of our true inner worth disappears. We forget our true self. Low self-worth is born. 

We then struggle through life unknowingly suffering from worth amnesia!

But here is the deal! You ARE worth by default. It’s a pre-existing feature. It is who you are!

Your true inner worth is infinite. And because it is limitless, it can never disappear. Yes, you might FEEL unworthy, inferior or undeserving because you have no memory of your true worth. But you ARE still worth. 

Always! Forever. No exceptions!

And now is the time to remember it!

Repeat daily to yourself: I am infinitely Worth!