Self Love Masterclass #12

​The most tragic misunderstanding of our time:

I struggled as a new Mom. My old, familiar life had vanished overnight and I felt lost and insecure. 

Furthermore, I never experienced that instant connection with my child and required a few weeks to slowly develop motherly love.

But one day, while I was sitting on the sofa rocking my son to sleep in my arms, I looked at him and suddenly realised how infinitely worthy and valuable he was.

Yet, he wasn’t famous, influential or wealthy. He wasn’t successful, had no University qualifica- tions or impressive achievements.

He just was worthy. He didn’t need to be or do anything. He was worth magnified.

And that’s when I started to understand that, all this time, I had been the victim of an enormous (and disastrous) misunderstanding!

Self-worth cannot be increased through our actions or achievements. 

We cannot force ourselves to overcome feelings of unworthiness. 

And it’s also unnecessary.

Because our commonly accepted concept of self-worth is flawed. 

The surprising truth about self-worth

We usually define self-worth as the perception of our own worth.

The problem is that our industrialised societies focus intensely on competition, materialism, image, prestige, power, achievement, beauty and fame.

Hence, our worth becomes externally dictated. We are assigned a certain level of worth based on our bank account balance, (society defined) success level, popularity or usefulness (to society).

If you don’t fulfil the criteria, you have no worth. If you work hard and achieve greatness, you gain worth. If you fail or make a mistake your worth is diminished. Simple as that!

But if that was actually true, my son would be completely worthless!

And that’s when I finally realised that the elusive self-worth I had been chasing for most of my life is not a character trait, physical feature or invisible muscle. It isn’t even an emotion.

Self-worth is awareness. Nothing else.

The awareness of our true inner worth. We ARE worth personified. Every one of us.

This realization was the fundamental step to healing my self-worth.

Have you ever looked at a newborn baby and thought: “This thing is worthless! Let’s hope he will grow up to be smart, attractive or famous so he can earn some worth in time.”

Or have you ever watched a toddler stand in front of a mirror in a sparkly dress and tell herself: “You even make this gorgeous dress look atrocious. You are so ugly, fat and pathetic.”

Honestly, I would be shocked if you have! At the beginning of our lives we just know that we ARE worth!

We trust that the world is an amazing, friendly place and understand that the Universe caters to all our needs because we deserve safety, love and happiness.

We incessantly fight for what we want and we express ourselves confidently (and loudly) in order to achieve our goals.

We don’t care what others think of us, we aren’t bothered about making mistakes. We just try again!

We are proud of the tiniest achievement. We know we are awesome. We even love our poo... because we made it!

But then life happens. We are exposed to society’s values and judgements. 

We experience failure, disappointment, criticism and rejection. We start to doubt our worth because others don’t seem to see it.

And little by little the awareness of our true inner worth disappears. We forget our true self. Low self-worth is born. 

We then struggle through life unknowingly suffering from worth amnesia!

But here is the deal! You ARE worth by default. It’s a pre-existing feature. It is who you are!

Your true inner worth is infinite. And because it is limitless, it can never disappear. Yes, you might FEEL unworthy, inferior or undeserving because you have no memory of your true worth. But you ARE still worth. 

Always! Forever. No exceptions!

And now is the time to remember it!

Repeat daily to yourself: I am infinitely Worth!