Self Love Masterclass Day 5

​Love yourself in challenging situations

Unconditional Love: Embrace whatever you encounter

When we experience hard or difficult situations and fall short, it can make it more difficult for you to love yourself.  Such as when dealing with feelings of insecurity, shame or unhappiness. 

Self-love is unconditional. 

Write this down and read it yourself: “I want to love you in whatever situation. Whatever happens, I will love you.” 

With love and compassion, allow your heart to feel whatever emotion comes up, without ignoring, shutting down, or judging. 

Set your heart truly free.

Different situations ask for different ways to be present for yourself. Here are a few examples how you can love yourself in a difficult situation.  

The response to every situation (hard or easy) is simple: loving yourself is always the answer to every situation.

If you did something embarrassing in a social situation and you’re feeling shame: Allow that emotion, and be present and in the moment for yourself while the emotions run in your heart. 

Write this down and read it yourself: “It’s okay that you feel shame. Take whatever time you need. I am here for you. And I will love you all the way through it. Whatever other people might think of you, I love you deeply. You’re awesome. I love the hell out of every embarrassing part of you. You’re sweet, you’re cute, you’re perfect for me, you will always be enough for me.” 

Write this down and post it where you can see it daily: “I’m not ashamed of loving you!”

If you treated someone badly and you’re feeling guilt: allow the emotions to be felt in your heart as much as is needed for the emotion to go away by itself. 

While you’re feeling the pain in your heart, put a hand on your heart. Write this down and read it to yourself: “I know you’re feeling bad and I am here for you. I love you no matter what. I wish only the best, loving relationships for you. I will send you all the love that your broken heart needs. I forgive you for hurting someone else, I see your innocence. I see your side of the story and I know you did the best you could at that moment. I accept all of you.”

If you made a mistake at work that cost you your job: You might feel strong emotions here. 

Write this down and place it where you can read it daily: “I don’t blame you, mistakes are human. You are human and I accept every single part of you. Even when others tell you you’re not good enough, you are good enough for me. Always. You don’t even have to ask for forgiveness, you’re already forgiven. If even there is anything to forgive, since this is you and I love all of you. You making mistakes just makes you real, and vulnerable, and that’s amazingly beautiful. Whatever hardship happens, I believe in you.”

Love is always the answer. Especially the last two examples may trigger you to feel as if it’s appropriate to be hard on yourself, to blame yourself or to punish yourself. 

“What if I believe I should be hard on myself?”

Honestly, there is no situation ever in which you should be hard on yourself. You are always able to forgive yourself fully. 
Maybe your parents gave you the impression that punishment is the right follow-up to “bad behavior”, whatever that may be. You don’t deserved to be punished. Ever. 

If you believe you did something wrong, please give yourself all the love that is needed to heal that wound. 

You deserve nothing less than love, ever. There is never a reason to be hard on yourself, blame yourself or punish yourself. 

Everything is a reason to love yourself more.

Validate your emotions. 

Although beliefs like ‘I have to punish myself when I behave badly’ might not be real, emotions are always real.

It is loving to validate whatever emotion you have and to be present in the moment for yourself.

If you feel angry at yourself, let yourself be angry at yourself. 
Feel it, surrender to it. And love yourself as much as possible at the same time. 

Negative emotions will always go away by themselves, you don’t have to stuff them down or ignore them, or invalidate them. 

Acceptance is actually much easier and more effortless, just give up on the fight with these negative emotions. Allow what is to be. And love yourself as best as you can while you’re going through these emotions.

Write down all the above messages to yourself. Place them in visible locations at home and/or work. Place one in your car. 
Read the messages to yourself every day, more than once if possible.